First monday of the year...eurgh! But remember, don't hate Monday...make Monday hate you!
Anyway, being Monday means one thing on this blog...Mouthy Mondays! And for the first Mouthy Monday of the year, I thought I'd start with a recap of the year that was 2014!
2014 was a funny old year...it wasn't totally bad, in fact it was a pretty amazing year all in all. But there's a few things that taunt the year, one thing in particular mainly, that made me very glad to start 2015 and put 2014 behind me.
I started the year working in a charity shop and living at a friends house with my adorable kitten Ridley. And I was fairly happy, didn't want to be living at my friends but I had just started this blog and had gotten addicted to Netflix ;)
Feburary was the month that would start a lot of changes. I was about to finally find my own place again and move out...and I had to rehome my beautiful Ridley because I was hearing things about my housemate that made me fear for her...I still regret rehoming her...I was a week or so from finding my own place where she'd be safe and happy but I had to do what was best.
And I ended up getting a new cat in the summer, she was a rescue via a friend and I've already written a post about her so won't go into detail as I've already explained it. But she's been such a special part of 2014, her crazy antics and personality make me smile endlessly...and she's so damn adorably cute!
So in March, I finally moved into my own place! It felt amazing...I hadn't had my own place for well over a year and I was excited to start a fresh! I had a new bunch of people in my life and things seemed good.
But then things went from good to bad swiftly...bottling things up is never a good thing and I'd be bottling things for years and years...I knew I had depression and anxiety but I refused to accept it for so long and refused to get help...I could cope I told myself.
And that's when I slipped up. A few things went wrong one after another and I could no longer cope...so I went back to the way I coped as a teenager...harming myself. The only way I could control the pain, the only thing that made me feel like had some sort of control. It started small, told myself I wouldn't do it again, its a one off. But it only got worse, it was a month before I finally realised I had to stop, it was getting worse.
But then things started getting good...after a rough day, a friends birthday party was the start of good changes. I joined the Prince's Trust Team programme, and it was amazing! I let myself down during it a lot though, not attending but my head was doing well and it was my only other way of coping...shutting myself away. But the residential week helped me in so many ways, mainly helping me face my fears of being away from my friends and family. I also finally got myself properly diagonised with the support of my team leader and it was a big break through... Knowing exactly what you have and how badly...helped me finally accept it and get help. I won't go into this more, as I want to cover it in my mental health series.
2014 wasn't all that bad like I said. It was taunted by the self harm but it wasn't all that bad. 2014 was the year my friend had her baby boy, and its honestly mind blowing what an impact he has made on everyone who knows him...just watching him grow and seeing that bright little smile that beams across his face every time he sees me makes my day every time. And its made my friendship with his mum tighter, we have our differences but I couldn't be without her.
I met some amazing people in 2014, some entered my life at the start of the year, some the middle and some near the end but each one is amazing and means so much for me, for many different reasons. I've made friends with people who make me wish I'd had met them years earlier! They helped me when I needed it the most and I've helped them...and made some amazing memories in the process. I met my two best friends and wouldn't be without them...they've taught me new things about myself and helped me realise I can truly be myself no matter how different or weird I am...that's what makes me. And the right people like me that way.
And my best friends rekindled my love for gaming and the Xbox and introduced to the world of airsoft...and I'm hooked ;)
Looking back there is a few things I regret or wish I could erase, but we all makes mistakes and that's part of the journey. And you know what that's OK! Those mistakes had to be made and the important thing is I've learnt from them.
2014 though was all in all, a pretty good year. The first 4 months maybe not but for the rest of the year...amazing! I've done things I never thought I'd do or like or both (airsoft, kayaking with the Prince's Trust, play GURPs, etc), found out things I never knew I liked/forgot i like ( mega geeky boardgames, my love for xbox etc) and went on a fair few adventures and had some amazing days/nights with my friends (Wales with Prince's Trust, Blackpool, Great Yarmouth, the whole of summer & Halloween...to name a few!)
There's a few things I didn't write about, but we'd be here all day! And there's some things that are personal and stay that way.
So despite the bad, I had a pretty amazing 2014. And I can't wait to see what 2015 have to offer! And what adventures it has waiting for me...bring it on!
I hope you all had an amazing year and 2015 gives you all you wish for!
Till the next time,